157034

Joke of the Day

"Guy calls his boss and says ""I can't come in, I'm sick"". Boss says, ""you don't sound sick to me"". Guy says, ""I just got done fucking my dog how much sicker could I be?"""

"What's worst than a dead baby in a trash can? A dead baby in three trash cans."

"Jack and Jill... .....went up the hill so he could lick her candy, but jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock, cause Jill now identifies as a male and had gotten sex change surgery a week before."

"Dog asks cat, ""We sorta look similar, have four legs and are both furry, you even are a bit smaller. Why in the hell do you have so much respect but I don't?"" Cat: ""You 'bow' while me 'owe'."""

"Why did the H blow itself up? Because the Jihad."

"What did the hippie say when somebody told him to get off of their couch? Namaste."

"You can tune a guitar... but you can't tuna fish!"

"What do you call a Scottish lady that wears nothing but a tie? Hentai."

"It's not often that one gets the opportunity to speak about someone intelligent, respected and admired. Unfortunately tonight I have to talk about (NAME)."

"TIL ~10,000 people quit smoking every year By dying. I'll ^show ^^myself ^^^out"