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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if Morgan Freeman will be too busy narrating his own birthday party, to actually be able to enjoy it?"

"Why cant Gingers make shoes? They wouldn't have a sole."

"A microwave with three only buttons. 1. Hot Pocket 2. Pizza Rolls 3. 4 Hot Pockets and 60 Pizza Rolls"

"I have a pet dog who can speak. Today I walked in to my house, and he was right there waiting for me. I asked him, ""Hai Buddy, How was your day ?"" And he goes: "" rrrrRough """

"My online boyfriend loves me so much that once I put my money in his PayPal account he is coming to visit me."

"So, a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch... The bartender asks, ""What the hell is that?"" The pirate responds, ""Arrrrr, it drives me nuts."""

"Have you heard of the, great, ancient Greek philosopher Mediocrates? His primary philosophical viewpoint is ""eeeeehhh"""

"She said: ""I want to have your children."" . Me: ""They'll be on the first bus in the morning."""

"My sister bet me a $100 i couldn't build a car out of Spaghetti... You should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta!!!!"

"""President Clinton, can you respond to rumors of renewed infidelity?"" The only woman in my life is my darling *squints at notecard* Hitlery"