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Joke of the Day

"I have a pet dog who can speak. Today I walked in to my house, and he was right there waiting for me. I asked him, ""Hai Buddy, How was your day ?"" And he goes: "" rrrrRough """

Next Joke
 
"My wife thinks I drink too much... ...but the guy who runs my dialysis treatment says he's seen way worse."
"FOX is adapting a mash-up of Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire and Are you smarter than a 5th grader for Bangladesh. They're calling it, Who Wants to Marry a 5th Grader"
"What do you call the cleavage of someone with breast implants? Silicone Valley"
"Went to watch 'Comedy Thesaurus - The Punny Years' at the local theater yesterday. Disappointing, it was just a play on words."
"A joke I thought of: I don't know if fo' sho' means ""for short"" or ""for shore"", but I like to think that people are being overly nautical."
"What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes? Anyone can mash potatoes"
"I swallowed my keys It's a pain in the ass getting in and out of the doors."
"The Mens Rights subreddit did a poll to show how diverses their users are. They are 80% Single, white, 18-24, american males. HAHAHAHAHAHA"
"God Plays Golf"