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Joke of the Day

"So Arnold Schwarzenegger opened a pest control business... Because he was already an Ex Terminator."

"So buddy, how's life in North Korea? I can't complain."

"This headline stunned me- ""Mars to reduce carbon emissions"" Until I realized it was the candy maker ... and not the planet."

"Mosses did not parted the Red Sea. Chuck Norris did. The Bible got confused because Mosses and Chuck Norris sound so much alike."

"Heard about the public speaker with the rodent up his butt? He had to cancel a speech because he was gerbily constipated."

"I went to the air and space museum this past weekend I didn't see anything, so I left"

"Two seats open. One next to a good looking girl who noticed me as I walked in. The other by a wall outlet. She'll find love in another man."

"What do you call a chicken that crosses the road without looking both ways? Dead."

"What did Ben Franklin call his pee hole? Urethra Franklin."

"My girlfriend wants to replace the beige outlets in my house with white ones. And then she gets mad when I tell her to stop promoting white power."