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Joke of the Day

"Mosses did not parted the Red Sea. Chuck Norris did. The Bible got confused because Mosses and Chuck Norris sound so much alike."

"An Irish man walks out of a bar...."

"red (political majority) white (racial majority) and blue (militant majority)"

"[first date] Her: omg are you wearing a cape? Lol Me: [texting mom] ok you were right about the cape"

"Kanye walks into a museum in Finland. ""Imma let you Finnish,"" he snickers. The entire tour laughs. They're all Kanye, too. And so are you."

"Pretty sure California's water crisis could have been solved with the number of dropped ice cubes that I've lazily kicked under the fridge."

"What kind of bird does not make babies? A swallow"

"What do you call a lesbian driving a Ford Windstar full of penises? A dick-van dyke. -Credit to Louis CK"

"Jesus after the Last Supper goes through the bills. ""Guys, seriously, what the fuck, who ordered wine?"""

"Why did no one like the cannibal that started eating his own body? He was too full of himself."