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Joke of the Day
"I once thought I had a Japanese friend.... But it was just my imagine Asian."
Next Joke
"Did you know Stalin's penis was the funniest part of his body? It was real commiedick."
"It's impossible to lick your elbow. You never let me. Please. I want this."
"I didn't want the cop to see that my car's registration tags weren't current but apparently swerving erratically got his attention too"
"A man walks into a bar He asks the bartender, ""Do you have any helicopter flavored potato chips?"" The bartender shakes his head and says, ""No, we only have plain."""
"Sitting on the toilet this morning, I was reminded of my first divorce. At first I thought it had been a clean break, but then it got messy and there was lots of paperwork."
"My girlfriend caught me masturbating to porn on my phone... She looked at me seductively and asked if she could help. I said sure, could you hold my phone?"
"I do it doggy style... as in I spin around three times before I sit on the toilet."
"A postcard home: The weather is here. Wish you were beautiful."
"The best revenge is to show them that your life is getting better after they're gone"