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Joke of the Day
"We had an assignment on terrorists in school once. I bombed it of course"
Next Joke
"Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is working? A: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."
"My therapist said I need to stop listening to Ke$ha on my iPod and start acting my age. So I bought Ke$ha on vinyl. Tik Tok."
"Cops caught me fapping in a park and asked my penis if it wanted to press charges."
"Y'know the trouble with nude dancing is that not everything stops when the music does."
"Why is it a bad idea to date a girl from the leper colony ? Whenever they get upset, they cry their eyes out."
"I marched in a high school band, caught an armed robber, and sold girl scout cookies. All I was trying to do was find my car."
"I think my wife has a habit of walking in her sleep Every morning I find her sleeping in someone else's bed."
"INCREASINGLY DESPERATE GOOGLE SEARCH FOR ""HOW MANY SHADOWS SHOULD I HAVE?"""
"The only way I'll leave my phone in a cab is if I leave my arm in a cab."