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Joke of the Day

"oh cool burger king sells hot dogs now. maybe next week i'll get lasik at staples"

"I bet Martha Stewart knits a really festive sock to wear on her wiener for the holiday season."

"Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted."

"So, we're arguing and I've suddenly realized I don't agree with a word I'm saying. Which really ups the degree of difficulty for winning."

"The Smart Kid A child asks his father: - Daddy, where did I get my intelligence from? - From your mother, I think. I still have mine."

"Why is Italy shaped like a boot? Cuz there's no way that amount of shit can fit into a normal shoe"

"I need to burn 644,098 calories at the gym today."

"Know any Swedish jokes? I've heard they don't Finnish very well"

"Whoever decided to use pantyhose as a bank robbing disguise must have had one hell of a speech to convince his buds to follow along."

"What is yellow and lives off beetles? Yoko Ono"