119051

Joke of the Day

"Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office. Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted."

"I don't believe in peer pressure. Unless my friends do..."

"Them: Hi. I'm happy to meet you. Me: Hi. I'm awkward and already trying to find a way out of this conversation."

"The projected sales figur- *phone buzzes* the proj- *buzzes again* *checks phone* Excuse me for a moment gentelmen I'm being owned online"

"What do martial artist love to drink? WATAAA"

"What do you get when you cross an automobile with a household animal? A very upset child."

"What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat? Banned from the petting zoo."

"What is a homeless man's favorite type of music? House music"

"I dig, you dig, we dig, she dig, he dig, they dig....It's not a beautiful poem, but it's very deep."

"What language do cats speak? Catonese"