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Joke of the Day

"Whoever decided to use pantyhose as a bank robbing disguise must have had one hell of a speech to convince his buds to follow along."

"A famous singer sang for patients in a hospital. He finished with a cheerful greeting: -Bye-bye , and hope you get better! -Thanks, you too! replied the patients."

"*uses blood from wounds to write my killer's name on the floor* I...will be...avenged. NO! BAD DOG! DON'T LICK THAT! DADDY NEEDS JUSTICE!"

"Did you hear the new joke with the old punch line? [removed]"

"Heard Prince changed his name... ...to, ""The Artist Formerly known as Alive""."

"Is LSD illegal or just frowned upon? Asking for a giant purple rabbit."

"Monday mornings shouldn't start until noon."

"Everything my boy friend ever said to me was a lie. Every. Fcuking. Thing. Except the part about how pretty I was, that was true."

"People who cough loudly don't go to the doctor... They go to the cinemas."

"I like to put grilled chicken in my egg and cheese stuffed breakfast burrito... Nothing warms my heart and stomach more than reuniting a mother and child."