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Joke of the Day
"People who text back instantly. Keep it up, I like that sh1t."
Next Joke
"To whoever stole my thesaurus... To whoever stole my thesaurus, you made my day bad. I hope bad things happen to you. You're a bad person."
"I rented The Interview on ITunes tonight. I have to say it was the most boring movie I've ever seen. Two hours into it and it still isn't ready to play."
"God: ok u can make one human that's it Satan: how do u feel about toupees & the name Donald"
"What did Trump say to the Human Cannonball? You'rrre fired!"
"Don't click this post You'll reg-reddit"
"Did you hear about the protests going on outside of Madison Square Garden? Everyone was yelling ""Hands up, Don't Shoot"" but J.R. Smith and Carmelo Anthony just wouldn't listen."
"Did you hear about the guy who ate glass? It was pretty clear how he died."
"For as long as that song was, you'd think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once..."
"A grasshopper walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""We've got a drink named after you."" The grasshopper says: ""You've got a drink named Steve?"""