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Joke of the Day

"* see weird traffic pattern * turns down radio * smoothly avoids gargantuan pothole * runs over sign saying avoid gargantuan pothole"

"What do guns and millennials have in common? You need to keep them in a safe space if you don't want them triggered."

"I don't want to just eat Olive Garden. I want to eat OLIVE it."

"What does a subatomic duck say? Quark."

"Perhaps the darkest joke of all time. What happens when the sun goes down? It gets dark."

"What do you call an important Australian? A significunt"

"A man goes to the library Man : do you have the new book on small penises? Women : sorry, I don't think it's in yet. Man : yeah, that's the one!"

"Why does nobody ever talk about Jack the Ripper's sleazier French cousin? Jock the stripper."

"Sunday and Monday stand back to back, spraying darkness in both directions."

"BREAKING: Polaroid photo taken. More on this story as it develops."