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Joke of the Day

"* see weird traffic pattern * turns down radio * smoothly avoids gargantuan pothole * runs over sign saying avoid gargantuan pothole"

"Why is Hel great in bed? Because she can *switch stances* ( )"

"I was redditing while on the toilet when... I almost dropped my phone..... literally scared the shit out of me"

"Q: What do the Republicans have that Bill Clinton wishes he had? A: A mandate to govern."

"After Babe Ruth died, the world became ruthless."

"I saw a guy on his motorcycle and the back of his shirt said ""If you can read this the b*tch fell off."""

"'Failed to send tweet,' is Twitter's polite way of saying, 'Dude..'"

"My other calendar is a packet of birth control pills."

"What's the difference between pea soup and mashed potatoes? Anyone can mash potatoes"

"Given that my grandmother's world is upended by soup that is too salty, I can't help but question how bad The Depression REALLY was."