129644

Joke of the Day

"BREAKING: Polaroid photo taken. More on this story as it develops."

"Yeah I can take a hint. I'm not going to though."

"Being fat is when you watch Jurassic Park and wonder if dinosaur tastes good."

"I lost my phone and it's on silent. Man! I should've listened to Beyonce."

"What's the hardest thing about skydiving? The ground."

"[Amphibian Playground] BULLFROG: look at all u lil toad nerds TOAD: help! a BULLYfrog! TEACHER SNAKE: i'll handle this *eats everyone*"

"Have you heard the one about the agnostic with dyslexia and insomnia? He tossed and turned all night wondering if there was a dog"

"My friend crashed his plane recently his life has been heading in a downward spiral."

"do i own a boat? no no no. im afraid of the ocean. i guess u coud say.. *removes glasses* i cant sea"

"What's the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? *The taste.*"