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Joke of the Day

"Why do hipsters prefer to drink their PBR warm? So that they can say they liked it before it was cool."

"Good news and Bad news wife: i have a good news and a bad new. Husband: i am very busy.Just give me good news. wife: The airbags worked properly in our new BMW."

"Why does the Easter Bunny hide the eggs? Because he doesn't want anybody to know that he's been fucking chickens!"

"If time is money are ATM's time machines?"

"I would tell a joke about Jehovah's witnesses... But nobody likes knock-knock jokes"

"Did you know you can tell the gender of an ant by throwing it in water? If it sinks, it's girl ant. If it floats, it's buoyant."

"Personal Trainer: Show me the hardest thing that you do each day. Me: *Goes out front door of gym, comes back in*"

"Where do trailer park miscarriages go? Out of the trash and into the garbage"

"We'll take these $75 baby shoes. No need for a shoe box. We'll just let him wear & outgrow them on the car ride home."

"Me: We don't have any more Girl Scout cookies and now I'm sad. Wife: I get sad, too. Like when I think about being married to a 40yo baby"