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Joke of the Day

"My fiance is a med student and was talking to me about her geriatrics class... ... and my first thought was ""This is getting old real fast."""

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"Picture a scavenger hunt where the only items on the list are ""your house keys"" and ""your house."" Well, son, that's what drinking is like."
"What does a white trash girl say after sex? Get off me, Dad. You're squishing my smokes."
"Me: Hurry up kid. We're gonna be late for school 6 y/o daughter: *begins eating each Lucky Charms marshmallow individually*"
"two guys talking.... Guy one: I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally peed in her. Now she won't talk to me. Guy two: Sounds like urine trouble."
"I'm pretty sure that while girls are under anesthesia getting breast implants the doctors secretly do brain explants."
"Step On A Crack and Break Your Mother's Back... Smoke some crack and break your mother's heart."
"[NSFW] What came first: The egg or the chicken? The chicken, I don't think egg cums."
"What does the average Alabama football player get on his SATs? Drool"
"What do a Pediatrician and Podiatrist have in common? Their patients are 2'"