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Joke of the Day

"Got suspended from Instagram for going on everyone's food pics and posting the calories."

"My girlfriend is like the square root of a negative 100... She's a perfect 10! But she's also imaginary."

"Men go to bars for 2 reasons: 1) They don't have a wife to go home to. 2) They have a wife to go home to."

"What's the difference between a Ritz and a lesbian? One is a snack cracker and the other a crack snacker."

"What kind of secretary is the best secretary? One that never misses a period."

"Did you hear about the fire at the circus? It was in tents."

"Why did 6 wanna fuck 7? Cus 7 8 ass."

"What does school and the male reproductive organ have in common? Most of the time it's hard and long - unless you're Asian."

"Why did the farmer put brandy in the cow's food? He wanted to raised stewed beef!"

"How did the gay wizard dissappear? He went with a poof!"