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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is like the square root of a negative 100... She's a perfect 10! But she's also imaginary."

"*gets down on 1 knee* OMG *puts 2nd knee down* WHAT? *lays on floor* JIM? *snake noises* WHAT ARE YOU DOING? *slithers out of relationship*"

"How many toddlers does it take to change a light bulb Apparently more than 20 seeing how my basement is still dark"

"My attention span is shorter than donuts are better with sprinkles."

"Why did the internet pirate get scurvy? He couldn't use Lime Wire anymore."

"Why do bald men have holes in their pockets? So they can run their fingers through their hair."

"I was thrown out of my cloning exam for copying the kid next to me."

"Why are politicians buried 6 feet under? Because deep down, they're good people."

"Why did the Jews wander in the wilderness for 40 years? Someone dropped a penny."

"I can't turn my head very far in either direction It's a pain in the neck! My mom made that up."