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Joke of the Day

"If you're going to insult the Amish, do it to their face. You kinda have to. They're never gonna see it online."

"My girlfriend told me she was leaving me because I keep pretending to be a Transformer... I said, No, wait! I can change!"

"Oh, you thought my hair twirling was flirting? Actually, it was just me checking for split ends because you were boring the shit out of me."

"How does one enter a brothel in Westeros? Through the Hodor"

"A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns.. But I soon realized that toucan play at that game."

"What did Kermit the Frog say when Jim Henson died? Nothing."

"I don't get why some girls don't make airplane noises before putting their tampons in"

"What do you do if your lawnmower stops working? Deport him back to Mexico"

"A programmers wife asks him to go to the grocery She says ""Get a gallon of milk. If they have eggs, get 12."" The programmer returns with 12 gallons of milk."

"A man walks in his bedroom with a pig... under his arm. He says: ""I fucked this she-swine for 10 years"" His wife, shocked, yells: ""What?"" The man replies: ""Shut up, I was talking to the pig."""