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Joke of the Day

"a great joke to tell on the phone What has a little dick and hangs down? a bat! now what has a big dick and hangs up? *click*."

"Those Weren't Raisinets: A Mouse Tale"

"The phrase ""Silence is golden"" doesn't make any sense because duct tape is silver."

"Think of how horrible Ray Rice and the NFL had to act in order to make TMZ seem like brave investigative reporters"

"Last time I used my phone was to call someone upstairs in my house b/c getting up is hard & I'm not trying to win the Olympics."

"C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar... The bartender shows them the door and says, ""Sorry, we don't serve minors."""

"BARTENDER: I think you've had enough sir. DRUNK: I just lost my wife buddy! BARTENDER: Well it must be hard losing a wife.... DRUNK: It was almost impossible!"

"What do you call a band that comes out with a new song 12 times a year? Monthford and Son"

"If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?"

"My mother told me if I dislike someine, I'd have to walk a mile in their shoes. That way, if they tried to get me, I'd be a mile away and they'd have no shoes."