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Joke of the Day

"Spent an hour by my wife's grave God bless her soul, she thinks I'm digging a koi pond."

"What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution? A pigeon... ""Coup, coup"""

"Why did Napoleon wear sleeves? For his armies"

"How do you sell a chicken to a deaf man? (pause....) WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN??!! (SHOUTING)"

"Did you read the joke Hillary emailed to Obama? [deleted]"

"I say ""fight me"" a lot for a girl that's 5'2"" and has a tough time opening some doors because they're too heavy."

"My grandma was recently beaten to death.. She came in just after my granddad"

"What was the last thing that went through the fly's head when he hit the windshield? His ass."

"How does Kylo Ren talk on the phone? A Hans free device"

"She pays in all ones because her father taught to always ask for small bills. Her father was a bank robber."