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Joke of the Day

"I used to work for a bank but then I lost interest."

"Please don't drink and drive. Last night I put my hand out of the car to indicate i was turning right and some moron pulled the the bottle out of my hand"

"If the cure for AIDS could get you high, we'd figure it out in about a week."

"I watch too much Asian porn... I accidentally learned to speak Korean."

"My boss is marrying a Chinese woman. Is throwing rice at a Chinese wedding considered lucky or a food fight?"

"I drank half a bottle of NyQuil and tried to call Audrey Hepburn on my microwave"

"I like having fun with strangers in elevators by slowly moving my finger towards the emergency stop button while maintaining eye contact."

"You can't have everything, where would you put it?"

"So I went to the doctor, and he told me to stop masturbating. ""Why?"" I asked. ""Because I'm trying to talk to you, and it's very distracting."""

"Who makes the lemonade at a hospital? A Fizzy-o-Therapist."