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Joke of the Day

"You don't truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine."

"What do a 9 volt battery and a hot chick's asshole have in common? You know you shouldn't but you are going to put your tongue on it eventually."

"Quick tax question: Does giving thousands of dollars to charity last year make up for lying about it this year?"

"What's it called if you re-evaluate your butt? In hiney-sight."

"So a German installs a bath around his desk... BADUMTISCH"

"It's a man's job to respect a woman. But, it's a woman's job to give him something to respect..."

"Why is mustard good to have in case of an emergency? It's always prepared."

"Women seem to think I'm an asshole... but I prefer to think of myself as an opposite sex offender."

"How do you keep an asshole in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"A new sickness has been found and researchers report it infects only the nose. According to them, this is a full-blown disease."