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Joke of the Day

"looney toons fans: ah, good... once again elmer has failed to put food on the table... he won't survive the winter. this is truly hilarious"

Next Joke
 
"""Batman, we need your help in Brussels immediately."" ""Worry not, Commissioner, I've already changed my Facebook profile picture."""
"What do call a whore in Alaska? An eskihoe"
"The soldier survived pepper spray and mustard gas He is now a seasoned veteran."
"Have you ever wondered? What it could be loike?"
"""How many volunteers do we have for my evil army?"" ""384 my liege"" ""Ok, round them up"" ""400 my liege"""
"Dear Santa -- For 2017, all I want is a SLIM body and a BIG FAT bank account. Please don't mix it up like last year."
"Got in our old Mark 1 Golf today... ... My dad grabs shifts into reverse and says....""Aah, this takes me back"""
"What do you call a large bread disco? [deleted]"
"WIFE: Stop spending all our money ME: Okay, fine [later] WIFE: *visibly angry* WTF? ME: *zooming by on a new Segway* RELAX KAREN, I STOLE IT"