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Joke of the Day

"Lady pulled away with the gas pump still in her car and I was like OMG who's your dealer?"

"Grammar Nazi If somebody who is really anal about proper grammar is called a Grammar Nazi, is someone who constantly makes grammatical mistakes a Grammar Jew?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Agnes ! Agnes who ? Agnes & Topeka & the Santa Fe !"

"The fireworks have been over for hours but Rex is still barking, which is weird because he's 12 years old and not a dog. Weird little kid."

"My Kit-Kat bar got stuck in the vending machine at work... ...gimme a break..."

"Sports Hockey has the Blues. Football has the Browns. Baseball has the Reds. What does basketball have? l l l l l The Blacks."

"Hey guys is your refrigerator running? Because I don't like any of the current presidential candidates"

"What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it? A moot ant"

"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everyone A bitch sleeps with everyone, except you"

"A little kid comes running into the backyard. He says ""Pop! Pop! Ma just got hit by a bus!"" ""Son you know my lips are chapped. Please don't make me smile."""