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Joke of the Day
"Cheer up grumpy asthmatics by replacing the gas in their inhalers with helium."
Next Joke
"Just a reminder: Don't forget to check under your bed for Carrot Top every night!"
"What is a guy who rubs bear toes called? Rob...wait for it... erto! Rubeartoe!"
"What do the state of California and BDSM dungeons have in common? Nothing butt restrictions (thanks twitter.com/sorryforthelolz)"
"What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs? Silicone Valley. edit: spelling"
"NEVER FORGET WHERE YOU CAME FROM. I just came from wolfing down a Kit-Kat in the utility closet."
"What do you call a musical sheep group? An Alcapelca... yeah that was bad.. sorry world.."
"A man walks into a sperm bank, The lady at the desk says, ""Get a load of this guy."""
"I hate the Nazis so much They make me goddamned Fuhrious!"
"When children ask me where rain comes from, I pat their heads, shimmy up the nearest flag pole, and urinate on them."