196901

Joke of the Day

"I painted a banner for our annual family picnic, but my Mom thought ""Celebrating 100 Years of Undiagnosed Mental Illness"" was inappropriate."

"Why didn't Hitler ever order a french dip? Because he hates au jus."

"If I ever saw an amputee being hung, I'd start yelling out letters."

"1. Rage against the machine. 2. Check to make sure machine is plugged in. 3. Apologize to the toaster for the misunderstanding."

"What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's trying to get home? A taxi"

"going to the doctors Doctor: You have hepatitis B Patient: Damn, what kind of hepatitis, though?"

"Your ""poetic"" tweets would be so much better if Adele hadn't thought of them first"

"Who do you call if Everlast is having a heart attack? Eminem."

"Why don't they play CS:GO in the jungle? too many cheetahs"

"Q: Why didn't Count Dracula get married? A: He wanted to remain a bat-chelor."