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Joke of the Day
"I like my women how I like my Christmas trees. Illegally taken in the forest."
Next Joke
"Sometimes I spend so much time on Twitter in the bathroom that I actually pee twice."
"What has 2 heads and six legs? Nirvana"
"Sean Connery was an excellent carpenter. he even wrote a book... ""Shelf help."""
"""...you can also say 'representative' at any ti--"" ""REPRESENTATIVE!!"""
"My technique with women is, I sneak up behind them and scream obscenities in their ear when they turn round I'm wearing a nice sweater and holding a kitten. I call it Shock and Awwww!'"
"Where is everybody? Everybody? I don't know. All over the planet I guess."
"What becomes packed between periods? School Hallways"
"I just heard a guy arguing with his oven. Things got pretty heated."
"How did Darth Vader know what Obi-Wan Kenobi was getting for Christmas? He felt his presents..."