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Joke of the Day
"I like my women how I like my Christmas trees. Illegally taken in the forest."
Next Joke
"*gets woken up by a tap on my shoulder* ""Daddy, how do you get yogurt out of the toaster when it's done toasting?"""
"When I Was a Kid, My English Teacher Looked my way and Said, ""Name two Pronouns."" I Said, ""Who, Me?"""
"I judge the strength of the economy based on what type of candy people hand out on Halloween."
"I heard /r/Jokes likes pizza jokes.. Nevermind, it's too cheesy."
"Dear McDonald's, Thank you for not selling hot dogs. I don't think I could order a McWiener with a straight face."
"Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Lego man: Is it because I'm block?"
"I thought about doing stand up comedy, then I sat back down again."
"Woke up to 5:15am phone reminder telling me I need to set my alarm for 8am. Thanks last night drunk self. This is why we don't have friends."
"What do a woman's anus and a 9 volt battery have in common? (NSFW) You know its against your better judgement, but you put your tongue on it anyway."