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Joke of the Day
"Yo mama ... Yo mama is so fat that when she plays agar.io she's already on top of the leader board"
Next Joke
"Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit making 'Airplane' refrences"
"Finally goes to open-mic night. gets on stage. bombs so badly gets arrested for terrorism. #BucketListFails"
"What do songwriters do after they die? They decompose"
"According to my Ex, we only had 2 problems: 1. Me. 2. Not her."
"[Hostage situation] Um I don't want to be ""that hostage"", but I just want to let you know I have a gluten allergy."
"What do you call the operation that turns a woman into a man? An addadictamie."
"I do this fun trick at parties where no one there likes me so I don't go."
"I had a dream that my friend Martin became the ruler of all bath sponges. We called him Martin Loofah King."
"What is red and hurts when you bite it? A Brick."