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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if a redneck is on her period? You can see the blood on the tip of her dad's penis."

"What is the difference between christianity and national socialism? In christianity, one guy died for all the others."

"Why would you go to a psychiatrist? When you can just kill yourself"

"SexyButtPotato So somebody has been uploading my nudes from when I was a teen... Makes me mildly uncomfortable. http://imgur.com/5Gd9VUI"

"What do you call a crab that plays baseball? A pinch hitter."

"Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche"

"aw, the tsa confiscated my toothpaste before my flight. looks like i'm brushing my teeth with all these knives and gunpowder instead"

"A man walks into a bar Ouch!"

"It's okay if you didn't notice that I switched my beard trimmer's setting from 6 to 5. The difference is stubble."

"Wife said I should talk to the kids about drugs so I told them how faking a back injury would usually get you some Vicodin."