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Joke of the Day

"Imagine you know a guy named Gary, & Gary calls his car the Garymobile & insists that you do, too. What I'm saying is Batman is a douche"

"""Tell me where the money is or else I kill the girl"" -just to be clear, if I don't tell you she dies but I get to live right?"

"Q. What did dela wear?(Delaware) A. Her New Jersey"

"What do you call a dizzy asian? Disorientaled."

"It's called karma, and it's pronounced ""haha! Screw you!"""

"check if your cocaine is good, mix in vinegar. If it makes a volcano, its baking soda. If not, your drugs is ruined. Drugs are always bad."

"How many Tourette's syndrome sufferers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Damn fuck shit screw you dickhead just one asshole twat cocksucker."

"It was hard work, but I finally fixed the laundry machine The wife beater is nice and clean again :)"

"Who burped at the big bad wolf? Little Rude Riding Hood!"

"Sure, Canada, feel safe now while US is just after oil. Wait 'til we run low on beer, ice, hockey players & f'd up ways to pronounce words."