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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the stupid wizard? He couldn't remember if he used to be forgetful."

"How does an alien get back to his home planet? ayy lmao"

"DOCTOR: a new study says the meds ur on cause hallucinations ME: oh LARGE MENACING CACTUS THAT FOLLOWS ME EVERYWHERE: was it peer reviewed?"

"Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."

"What has TWO wings, and ONE arrow? A Chinese telephone. Wing wing. Arrow?"

"I was arrested for killing a black man and charged with impersonating an officer"

"I Wasn't Too Keen On The Idea Of Gay Parenting Until I met my wife, who was raised by two dads. That's when I came to my senses and realized.. NO MOTHER-IN-LAW!"

"An elderly woman went to her local doctor's office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied..."

"Choose your own adventure: S O F A T H E R E Y E S P O P Dad sees a soda? Moving a couch for dad? Obese girl with a vision problem?"

"What's that thing called when your crush likes you back? Oh yeah. Imagination."