155767

Joke of the Day

"Filming my own version of ""Taken"" using cats. My cat will play Liam Neeson and the red dot from a laser pointer is his daughter."

"Your mom's like a gong, everybody bangs her."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have children? He cums down the chimney."

"Why are turds tapered? So your asshole doesn't slam shut."

"Is he sleazy? Yes. Is he disgusting? Absolutely. Did he act in a vulgar manner towards women? Certainly. But he's not running for President, his wife is."

"Why did Tigger look in the toilet? He was looking for Pooh."

"It's time to end double standards. It doesn't make sense that if a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys, she's a slut... But if a guy does the same thing, he's gay."

"Just found the worst page in the entire dictionary. What I saw was disgraceful, disgusting, dishonest and disingenuous."

"Everyone gets on the fashion industry for unrealistic beauty standards, but can we talk about unrealistic depictions of food on boxes?"

"What is the question most frequently asked by a philosopher? Would you like ketchup with your chips?"