190552

Joke of the Day

"Is he sleazy? Yes. Is he disgusting? Absolutely. Did he act in a vulgar manner towards women? Certainly. But he's not running for President, his wife is."

"I bought my son a pet snake and the salesman said ""Be careful those snakes grow up to 20 feet"" I said ""Shut up...snakes don't grow feet!!!!"""

"WIFE:Someone's broken in ME *grabs baseball bat*Wait here [downstairs] PAL:Can't u just tell her u wanna play baseball M: Keep ur voice down"

"Why did the white girl die of alkalosis? Because she was too basic"

"Did you hear Cyan delayed the release of Obduction again? Apparently they myst some deadlines."

"How many white people does it take to replace a light bulb? One to hold the bulb, and the rest to screw the whole world."

"What did the man with The World's Largest Penis say when he had to have his legs amputated ""Don't worry, I still have my third one."""

"Mother: My goodness, Jerry, who gave you that black eye? Jerry: No one gave it to me. I had to fight for it!"

"If you encounter a bear DON'T RUN. Maintain eye contact. Keep maintaining it. Fall in love. Marry the bear. Tell story to your grandbearbies"

"Whats the difference between a dead baby and a bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton never lost a bag of coke out the window."