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Joke of the Day
"How does a woman show she's planning for the future? Plastic Surgery."
Next Joke
"Me: Where the hell are you going with those balloons? 4yr: I need to wee! Me: With balloons?! 4yr: Its so much fun to wee with balloons"
"Why is Santa Claus so horny? Because he only comes once a year!"
"How do you know if a girl is ticklish? Give her a testicle."
"My doctor just told me I'm suffering from paranoia. Well he didn't actually say that, but I could tell it was what he was thinking."
"Half the time, I just want to respond to an ELI5 thread with ""I'll tell you when you're older."""
"Countries.. We used to have empires ruled by emperors. We used to have kingdoms ruled by kings. Now we have countries."
"What is Fonzi's favorite letter of the alphabet? ""F"", for Fonzi. Duh."
"I feel like not enough people know about the situation in Yemen It's like no one knows Houthis guys are."
"What did the rubber ball say when he left the yo-yo's late night house party? You better get some sleep - I'm gonna bounce!"