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Joke of the Day

"Me: Where the hell are you going with those balloons? 4yr: I need to wee! Me: With balloons?! 4yr: Its so much fun to wee with balloons"

"What did the deaf, dumb, and blind kid get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Why do scuba divers jump off the boat backwards? Because if they jumped forwards they'd still be in the boat."

"grade A funny I bet the butcher the other day that he couldn't reach the meat that was on the top shelf. He refused to take the bet, saying that the steaks were too high."

"You kids have no idea how lucky you are. Back in my day we had to shave our jokes into the sides of cats and throw those cats at passers by."

"I was going to make a gay joke butt fuck it."

"What did the number zero say to the number 8? I like your belt"

"Why don't most people have classes on Saturday or Sunday? School is for the week."

"I don't know what I would do if I got to Greece... ...and couldn't get a single gyro."

"What's the difference between your mom and a pizza? A pizza doesn't beg me to keep going when I'm eating it."