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Joke of the Day

"Walked into the kitchen and saw my wife laughing while putting a banana in the garbage disposal so I think I'll sleep in the other room."

"How is there not an STD Clinic called, ""Clap on Clap off""?"

"Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory? Because she kept throwing out all the Ws."

"I accidentally ordered a grande at Dunkin Donuts so I had to just keep speaking spanish so they wouldn't think I was a snob."

"I saw a homeless man and gave him $1.00. I saw a homeless woman and gave her $0.77."

"Have you heard about Will.i.am's new sitcom? My Name Is URL"

"What is the difference between oral sex and anal sex? Oral sex makes your whole day, while anal sex makes your hole weak."

"2-year-old: *points to my belly* Baby! Me: Yep, there's a baby in there! Will you love it? 2: I eat it. Well that escalated quickly."

"I've been leaving a dollar in every book I read my entire life for my kids to find when it's my time to go. I'm already up to like 3 bucks."

"Socialist jokes are not funny Unless everyone gets them."