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Joke of the Day
"Why a fruit doesn't walk? Because fruit flies"
Next Joke
"Nobody can negotiate like a 4 year old told he has 2 minutes til bed."
"I find my own face to be scary... But I guess that's just me"
"[murder occurs] ME: how terrible. why can't we love each other [someone slightly inconveniences me] ME: I will execute your entire family"
"I bet if Aquaman and Jesus had a fight, Jesus would walk all over him."
"Every one knows about Elvis Everyone knows about Elvis the Pelvis. Less is known about his brother Inis."
"if you have a cash bar at your wedding you should be embarrassed enough to never show your face in public again"
"[Talking w/Doc] The wife wants to try period sex ""Seems unsanitary to me"" I dont think u understand- *wife bursts in wearing medieval armor*"
"What's the difference between a baby and a tree? Trees don't bleed when you cut their limbs off."
"I slept like a baby last night. I pooped my pants and cried myself to sleep."