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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] What did the sperm cell say when it realized it had just been dumped into an ass, not a pussy? Oh, shit."

"A conversation between 2 vegans: ""I'm a vegan."" ""I'm a vegan too."" ""Oh."" ""So...you're a vegan?"" ""Yes, I am a vegan."" ""Me too."""

"Damn son are you a girl? BECAUSE OTHERISE WHY YOU NO DOCTAH YET?!"

"My wife asked me to go out and get something that makes her look pretty. So I went out and got drunk."

"Why did Obi Wan not kill Anakin when he had the chance? Because Anakin was ... unarmed."

"What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian? A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs."

"Hate it when i accidentally drink a small amount of a carbonated beverage and my body is unable to release the gas and i pop like a seagull."

"why is history called his-story because no one wants to read about 6000 years of cooking and cleaning...zing"

"Don't pollute the Earth... ...it's not Uranus."

"[heaven] IAN: I only regret the things I didn't do ME: Me too I: Like, I didn't swim with dolphins. You? M: I didn't stop poking a bear"