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Joke of the Day

"A hat and a tie are out running The tie gets tired and says he needs a break. The hat replies ""Don't worry. You hang around and I'll go on ahead."""

"The best sex is like an old saloon. Liquor in the front and poker in the rear."

"I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack.."

"I forgot to buy baking paper Looks like my cooking will be foiled again..."

"Variants for running. Variants for running:- 1. Hot girl in front of you. 2. Creepy guy behind you. (If 1 applies to you, you're probably 2)"

"Knock Knock Who's there? Two Two Who? To Whom!"

"If you can't say something nice, say it to your husband... he's not listening anyway."

"Looking at Facebook is a convenient way to realize you can't stand most of the people you sort of know."

"Never end a tweet with a question mark. People will talk to you."

"If you took your large intestine and stretched it out in a straight line it would be very hard to get it back in you after that. So tangly."