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Joke of the Day

"Did you see the gorgeous girl doing the taser demonstration? She was stunning."

"Why do tampons find it so hard to make friends? They're all stuck-up cunts."

"When God Handed out Chins... You Thought He Said Gins, And Asked For A Double."

"How does a german get to the airport? He heils a taxi!"

"Why didn't Wile E. Coyote just spend all that Acme money to buy an actual dinner?"

"As an Asian male, I'm offended by the stereotype that we're bad drivers and have small penises. I am an excellent driver."

"Taylor Swift seems like one of those chicks who thinks it's cute to put her bare feet on the dashboard of a car when riding shotgun."

"My kid was saying they wanted an Omnitrix that let him change into pokemon So am like...you want to be a ditto?"

"Political views are like children. Some people don't have one or want one. Others keep trying to show theirs off."

"To all new iPad owners. When you masturbate in front of your new device, make sure to put some porn on its screen to avoid embarrassment."