155281

Joke of the Day

"So much wasted time in public school, as an adult I've never used cursive, done algebra, or had to remember anything from sex ed."

"Excuse me? Do you work at Little Ceasars? Cuz Ur Hot And I'm Ready."

"What was Hitler's favorite food? steamed Franks"

"Wanna measure the coefficient of static friction between us?"

"Since getting a Kindle, what I miss most about books is tipping them forward on the shelf to open a secret passageway."

"Why does Santa have such a big sack? He only ""comes"" once a year"

"Fun idea: Not got kids? Hire a babysitter anyway, say kid is asleep upstairs and not to be woken. On your return ask where your child is."

"Friday Fun Fact: There's more time spent installing Adobe updates than the actual use of Adobe."

"""Tell me"" said the hiker to the local farmer ""will this pathway take me to the main road?"" ""No sir"" replied the farmer ""you'll have to go by yourself!"""

"Fred: I thought there was a choice for lunch today. . Cook: There is. Fred: No there isn't. There's only cheese pie. Cook: You can choose to eat it or leave it."