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Joke of the Day

"So much wasted time in public school, as an adult I've never used cursive, done algebra, or had to remember anything from sex ed."

"Coworker: Pass your random drug test? Me: With flying colors! CW: Really? Me. So many colors! CW: You're high right now aren't you?"

"What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape."

"In a parallel universe calories are trying to burn people."

"I accidentally rear ended a mercedes with a midget driver... he got out, looked at the damage and yelled ""I am not happy!"". I replied ""fine, which one are you then?"""

"There's an email going around that claims to include a nude photo of Hillary Clinton Don't open it. It contains a nude photo of Hillary Clinton."

"How do you starve a black person? Hide their welfare check under their work boots."

"What do you call an important Australian? A significunt"

"Why are Australians so well balanced? They have a chip on both shoulders."

"A man and a small child walk into a deep dark forest. ""Dad,"" the child says ""I'm scared."" ""You're scared?"" the man scoffs. ""I've got to walk back this way on my own"""