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Joke of the Day

"Remember, you are statistically more likely to be killed by a donkey than a plane crash. [Donkey Pilot turns and does throat slit gesture]"

"What did the Computer Engineer say? What did the computer Engineer say when he saw his favorite drink? ICT"

"Yo mama's so loose and hairy... It looks like Bob Ross screaming at the top of his lungs."

"My body is like a Greek statue. Even if the staff at the museum don't think so."

"The Calbuco volcano is very hot right now... But everything around it is Chile."

"Sister: Mom wants you to come in and help fix dinner. Brother: Why? Is it broken?"

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope and no jobs. God please don't kill Kevin Bacon."

"Why was the graveyard so noisy? Because of all the coffin."

"""Screw you, my face doesn't look like that at all"" - an actual duck."

"My handicapped girlfriend claimed she could arouse me at any moment but it's hard when she can't move an inch"