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Joke of the Day

"England are to have a new captain next week. His name is Roger Smith and he's the pilot for the flight home."

"The Wikipedia's list of rape victims is incomplete... But don't worry! You can help by expanding it!"

"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less. [GRAMMAR NAZI BUSTS IN] ""MINE FEWER."" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"

"Why is Perl Jam's new lead singer fat free? They couldn't find a Butter Man!"

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They're all to busy beating the room for being black!"

"I dont pretend to be anything I'm not.. Except for sober I've pretended to be sober a few times"

"An atom loses an electron, another atom asks 'You sure?' I'm positive."

"Where does the bride of Frankenstein have her hair done? At the ugly parlour."

"Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me."

"If the Hipster fad were to end... Would we even hear about it?"