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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I get mad about having to unload the dishwasher but then I remember a machine just washed my dishes for me."

"What do you call a dissection performed by drunks? An Autipsy."

"What does a ghost wear when it's raining? boooooooooooooots"

"I was trying to solve an equation when I realised that the minus button on my calculator was broken... On the plus side, it still worked."

"What do you do if your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down and use some Lube."

"Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium BATMAN!"

"How does the pig farmer get to the fair? He rides piggyback."

"what did the zero say to the eight? nice belt"

"Why don't blind people go sky diving? It freaks out the dogs!"

"Walked in on my Dad chopping up Onions and I started to cry Onions was a good dog.."