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Joke of the Day

"Introducing my girlfriend to the family Me: This is my girlfriend Jane Jane: Hi Wife: What the fuck"

"If our feet had mouths then they'd be walkie talkies."

"I just got a part in the movie Cocaine It only has one line."

"Apple's new iphone sold over 13M units this past weekend I guess you can say it was a 6S"

"So I am a poet and a novelist challenges me to a fight... So I say ""Come at me, prose"""

"Yelling out ""Stranger Danger!"" is a good way to say no when a cashier asks for your zip code."

"How many marshmallows does it take to get to the moon? Purple, there are no bones in ice cream!"

"Why was the young snowflake so upset? Because he just watched his mom get plowed."

"I SWEAR I'm not addicted to brake fluid.. I only use it in a clutch."

"My bologna has a first name... ... it's m-o-o-n."