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Joke of the Day

"It took 11 years but hubby can finally read me like a book. A Greek book. Read upside down wearing a blindfold. It's a vast improvement."

Next Joke
 
"I like watching horror films hiding behind he sofa That way, my neighbors don't know I'm there Credit to Jim Carr"
"My dad is my inspiration ...cause you never know when it's gonna hit you EDIT: missed a word"
"Me at age 5 ""I wish I had a $1"" Me at age 10 ""I wish I had $100"" Me at age 17 ""I wish I had $1,000,000"" Me at age 26 ""I wish I had $1"""
"Why is wintertime love making in Scandinavia dangerous? Your tongue might get stuck to a Pole."
"What do you call a Sailor's hitch in the arctic? Knot cool"
"Hey, bud. Who's Charles Foster Kane's favourite character in Titanic, bud? It's Rose, bud."
"I walk around like everything is fine, but deep down, inside my shoe, my sock is sliding off."
"Why I'm leaving /r/jokes I have to go to work. I'll be back later."
"Cop: GET DOWN ON THE GROUND Me: I didn't do... Cop:*cuffing me* Dispatch, we have a creepy clown in custody Me: These are my regular clothes"