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Joke of the Day
"Hey, bud. Who's Charles Foster Kane's favourite character in Titanic, bud? It's Rose, bud."
Next Joke
"Playboy's decision to keep models clothed comes weeks after McDonald's decision to serve breakfast all day."
"What do you call a bunch of Lesbians in a closet? A liquor cabinet."
"Velcro. What a rip-off."
"I think I'm allergic to cats. They give me stomach aches."
"[being chased round my house by a murderer] ME: PLEASE STOP THIS IS SENSELESS MURDERER: What? ME: [puts Fitbit on] Ok carry on"
"Sexually rubbing the wall until you find the light switch."
"Your Bio says you like music. That's amazing. Seems like everybody else around here hates music. Kindred spirits, you and I."
"What's the difference between the Rolling Stones and a Scottish sheep farmer? One says, 'Hey! You! Get off of my cloud!' The other says 'Hey! MacLeod! Get off of my ewe.'"
"How do you pick up a jewish girl? In a dustpan."