154948

Joke of the Day

"I moustache you a question but I'm shavin' it for later Sean Connery."

"I just violently threw up for 6 minutes and now my coworkers think I'm the lead singer of Creed."

"Who was the hide-and-seek champion of 2005? Nobody knows, they haven't found him yet."

"I got athlete's foot... I don't even work out, so I was flattered."

"NASA's robot Curiosity landed on Mars. Early pictures show no signs of ESPN, beer and porn, making it very clear that men are not from Mars.."

"A time traveling pharaoh and a modern Jewish man discuss religions When the man says he is Jewish the pharaoh responds ""I absolutely love Jews. I own 40,000 of them!"""

"Warning: the life you are about to lead contains strong language, adult situations and nudity. Exister discretion is advised."

"They don't seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts. Sad."

"What do you call a fat gay guy? Flab-ulos!"

"How many Buzzfeed writers does it take to change a lightbulb? 13\. Number 9 will shock you!"