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Joke of the Day
"Whoever stole my copy of Office 365, I will find you You have my Word."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the Mathematician who was constipated, and lost his calculator? He worked it out with a pencil"
"[couples therapy] ME: She thinks I make bad decisions WIFE: He traded our car for a skateboard THERAPIST: *writing notes* This guy rules"
"My wife thinks I'm too impulsive. How the hell would she know? We only met last week!"
"Guy walks into a gym He asks the manager which machine he could use that would attract the most women. The manager points to the ATM. Edit:formatting"
"Why did the nun call the Womens helpline? because she was touched by Jesus."
"Q: What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water? A: Bob"
"What do Jewish pirates wear? YARRRRMULKES."
"When I was 16, I thought I could slam and lock my bedroom door in the house my parents paid for. So they took my door. That's 80s parenting."
"House is a mess ... Walked in the other day and there were 2 people on the couch blindfolded and filming a Fabreeze commercial"