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Joke of the Day

"What do you call... two black guys who are fighting over a watermel.... Goddamit billy go fuck your sister in another room, pa is trying to tell a joke."

"What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor (My nephew is watching Spongebob please send help my brain cells are leaving one by one)"

"What do you call a gay guy flying a plane? The pilot."

"6yo:You can't eat chips before dinner! Me:YOU can't. I'm a grown man. I do what I want. *Wife walks in*: What's that? Me:WHAT? NOTHING. Huh?"

"Yeah, I can't believe the shitty teenager making minimum wage at the coffee shop spelled your name wrong on your cup either."

"Why can't a bike stand on its own? Because it's two tired."

"My neighbours probably think I'm getting laid, but these are just the sounds I make whenever I take my socks off."

"I had a joke about insanity but then I lost it."

"OMG THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!!! 1): Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2): Die"

"How do gold diggers get you to be with them? They use their booby traps"